Date: 2010-06-23 08:41 pm (UTC)
I didn't even know he was outside. Maybe I have the wrong definition of "eave" in my head. Looking it up... Yeah, I had it wrong, I thought eaves were those beams that crisscrossed under roofs to support them. A heuristic that I think is good (although I never use it) is that if you've never heard somebody use a word in conversation, out loud, it shouldn't serve to explain anything in a book. (You can use it, as long as there is abundant context such that you'd still know what was up without it, or if it's in the mouth of a character not meant to be understood.) I don't think the keep part matters - I mean, it may later, but all I needed to know to picture his precarious situation was that he's sitting out on the edge of a roof of a building. I still don't know how he got down once he was away from the edge.

In fewer than a hundred words wherein Naie appears, you mention his eyes twice (once to describe them - as being unusual, moreover - and once when Veiran looks at them). Of course I thought they were significant.
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