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Comment-seeking
Jun. 23rd, 2010 11:42 amI'm trying to hone my fiction writing as well as hopefully create a longer story. I realize that it's possibly too short to meaningfully comment on, but I'd like to ask for some feedback on the brief scene I posted yesterday. More specifically, there are two things I'd like to ask:
1) How did you find the length of the "Veiran trying to get away from a high place" part? Was it about right, or should I have made the tension last longer? (Did you feel there was any tension in the first place?)
2) Did the scene make you interested in the characters? Suppose you were at a bookstore looking for something to buy and this was the first page of a book you happened to grab and look at. Would you turn the page to read more, put down the book and move on to the next one, or buy the thing?
Don't be kind, don't be mean - be honest. Thanks!
EDIT at 15:31 West Coast Time (GMT -7): I edited the original based on feedback from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
alicorn24 and alekseiriikonen, so if you're commenting, make sure you've read the most recent version!
1) How did you find the length of the "Veiran trying to get away from a high place" part? Was it about right, or should I have made the tension last longer? (Did you feel there was any tension in the first place?)
2) Did the scene make you interested in the characters? Suppose you were at a bookstore looking for something to buy and this was the first page of a book you happened to grab and look at. Would you turn the page to read more, put down the book and move on to the next one, or buy the thing?
Don't be kind, don't be mean - be honest. Thanks!
EDIT at 15:31 West Coast Time (GMT -7): I edited the original based on feedback from
alicorn24 and alekseiriikonen, so if you're commenting, make sure you've read the most recent version!
